There’s Truth in the Suffix


I want to thank Harvey for sending me this one.  I think it says a lot…

AmerI-CAN

Republ-I-CAN

Democ-RAT

Old-Man-Tex

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DC Asylum – Obama’s Formula for Stimulus Package Distribution


787 Billion dollars – how to divy that up?  It was keeping Snow-Bama up at night, until he finally was able to scribble out a simple formula.

Stimulus – DIVIDED by 50 states equals One Portion each.

Further more….

A) if Republican, decrease portion by 40% (call this the Fillibuster Penalty)

B) if Democrat, increase portion by 60% (call this “Super-Majority Bonus)

C) if Democrat and facing strong challenger in 2010, then double the portion (call this “Emergency Disaster Relief”)

D) if state is one of the top five electorate states, then take 50% from lowest ten electorate states (Call this Redistribution)

Note – if anyone points out the results of the math greatly exceeds the original amount, tell them they are using “Obstructionist Math”.  If this does not silence the critic, then try any one of the following: 1) ignore, 2) change the subject, 3) Blame your predecessor, 4) describe the argument as racist.  (Special Bonus Czar Appointment if you can use all 4 in the same sound bite on MSM).

Old-Man-Tex